18 Days ... N that's it !!!!

Getting married was suppose to be fun, it was suppose to be only shopping, it was meant to be all pampering and all love... Not that it isn't all of it, but then there is a catch at the rear end. It's not like a win all kind of a situation, just to be with one, i will have to let go being with the other. Just to settle in into an all-new world, I will have to unlearn lots of what I had learnt all through these 26 years.










My mom randomly buying stuffs for home, bought a tooth brush for me to take along. Now amidst all the heavy sarees, suits, jewellery, chappals and all that jazz, this one tooth brush made me realise that it is not like a camping trip anymore, where I pick my shoes n socks and towels and tooth brushes, and camp and trek with friends for 4-5 days and come back home and sleep tight with mom dad just around on the other bed.

Life isn't a camping trip anymore, and neither am I a young girl who can just sleep anywhere in any body's pajama, on any ones bed, in any one's quilt. I am not all that accommodating as I was 10 years back. I am still used to entering home and throwing my hand bag and lap top bag anywhere around the room, and telling mom how my day was while she would give me some water and something to eat. Moms love to pamper, and mine made sure there doesn't arise a need for me to even lift a finger.

How i will miss cribbing to her about the sabzi's that she made and I did not like, how I'll miss just getting up in the middle of the night and slipping in her bed besides her, how I'll miss just plain and simple fighting with her, how I'll miss teasing her, how I'll miss nagging her for not combing her hair well or wearing a "not so nice " chappal or a "not so nice" suit, or not removing her nail polish or over straining her self. Plain and simple, life is gonna be difficult with mom not around. Rather Incomplete.

So 8th of December... it is

Soon i will finally be receiving the card that would read:

Qaynat

Weds

Ankit

On: 8Th Dec 08

Something that i hadn't really wanted, not even expected. And something that hadn't struck me till now. The other evening, 12Th Nov, (how can i ever forget that date now, kiney!!!) i called her and cried n cried n cried, right before the most beautiful moment of her life. I cried to the fact that, she and i might not be the same anymore, that she and i will not be able to attend each other's wedding, that she n i might just drift apart because our husbands might not see eye to eye, or just might not like our talking to each other.

I felt bad, that in spite of planning it for years, we will not be able to dance on each others weddings, we will not be able to stand at the entry gate and ask for sagan for entry, we will not be besides each other when we are being taken with all glitz and glamours and maximum footage to the center stage, we will not be there to hide our jeeja ji's juttis, we will not be there to negotiate ... We will not hug each other and cry ... The gist is that we will just not be there... JUST NOT BE THERE...

There at times when nothing else matters, its only the fact that we will not be a part of each others wedding album. Which is scary in its own self. I will never ever again be able to go and see Qaynat alone in Bangalore, both of us will have our share of add-on's.

Guess somewhere it is better, that the two of us are getting married almost at the same time.... Because we could have lost track due to one single and one married status being clubbed together. It is probably nice, that now that both of us will have husbands together, we might just be able to have some gala time with the four of us. All of it could be true. But my heart will somewhere miss the true bond we shared, that nobody else might actually be able to understand...