Beti ko deti pardes ri...

Randomly surfing through channels last night, i caught on Pinjar ... (Urmila Matondkar, Manoj Bajpai & Sanjay Suri ). A movie that talked of the Independence and the pre independence era.. A time when women were loved, cared for but for some reason not respected enough. A time when even though Lillet Dube's elder daughter is getting married.. she herself is bearing a child... The movie took me back to another one that i had seen some time back with my family.. Khuda ke liye... A lovely movie from Pakistan, that talked about how each woman's opinion and right to speak her mind needs to be respected.

Its not about movies, its about us .. the young women of India, born and brought up in the urban section of the society.. Young women, convent educated, with masteres from a few of the most renowned institutes, earning well, rather doing exceptionally well for their young ages. Yet somewhere, lost in a world, where they are addressed as 'aap' but still treated a noone. Where they are taught to say what their heart feels and believes, but not always allowed to do so. Have we actually become so urban for the ages to be accepted as those young docile daughters, who need to know how the world was back then, who need opinion, who need help.. but only to take their own decisions eventualy. All of it, only to decide how they want to live their lives in the years to come.

Getting married is such an agenda at homes, but then how many of us can actually tell our moms, that we donot want to get married to this guy, because i don't think we could be physically compatible, because i cannot imagine myself sharing a bed with someone like him. How many of us want to say all this, or for that matter, how many times would our parents not get embarassed with all this or, just at the end say that it is another lame excuse of ours. I at times feel like putting in a reality check alarm in my mom dad's phones. That should almost everytime remind them, that their daughter has never had a drink in her life, not gone around experimenting bed time partners, never done drugs in life, Never done a financial ghapla, never been arrested in a crime, never killed anyone... nothing of such sort.. nothing... , Still knows how to maintain a house, still knows how to cook, Still loves being home with family, still reads good books, watches clean television, respects her parents, Prays everyday... Why is it that they for some reason donot want to see all of it...

There are times when i want to sit with them and say all of it ... But then wonder 'should i' ??? Is it about convincing them or telling myself that i need to change ? Is it about them or yet again is it about me ? In my attempt to even out the gound to find some comfort, have i actually forgotten that wearing slippers might just make my journey easier???