The silence of my heart...

The ache is unbearable…
The pain somehow doesn’t seem to go …
The yearning just doesn’t end…
And the flow of tears just never gets slow…
I think of the time we kissed each other…
I think of the time I felt your breath..
The moments of your hand in mine…
All of it just rushes to my head…
I hush it all away … like everything else..
Those promises, those words…
The comforting smile, the tender hug …
The independent spirit that made us one...
All of it , Today somewhere lies in the dumps…
Have I become the deceiving lover,
The envious friend,
Or the disobeying daughter?

Is it inside me that I need to look…
Before i say ... that people around me have changed…
Is it me or is it them?
Or is it just the way I look at it today …

I feel so helpless.. I feel so defeated.. I feel so empty inside..
With no word , no whisper .. n nothing to hide..
I feel so naked without the caress,
Without your arms by my side…
Yet everyday I tell myself again..
Its without you that I need to survive…
Its every morning.. when I wakeup to the silence of my heart yelling inside…
Its every evening that I hit bed with my hollows inside waiting to get filled..
Its every moment that I say your name .. to remind myself you still exist…
Its every pain that makes me feel,.. that nothing was worse than letting you go …

I don want to be the defeated lover, the envious friend, or the disobeying daughter…

Yet I survive with my arms caressing me ..
Yet I survive, the silence inside…
It even scares me to think… how would it be ..
If this silence comes outside..