I'm BIG BIG girl...

Have I matured, have I moved on, have I grown up?

It’s a long journey that I have traveled, from being a young girl, to an adolescent, then a teenager and now a lady (who still loves to baby talk)…

From collecting hand painted letter pads to write letters to friends and family… to closing it just on the email and chat buddies… to figuring out that dad works in a PSB, so his modus operandi is suppose to be so different from mine… From sitting with my brother when he was four, teaching him hindi... to now moving on and preparing MIS for his business …

Yes I have moved on ... yes I have grown, literally and otherwise as well... Today I have the guts to go shopping alone in the Herculean city of Mumbai… to a book shops that exists in one end of the city... to buy the books that I would have never read 5 years back... To gain the knowledge... that I never believed I needed 5 years back… to sustain in a city that I had never though I would ever be in...

Yes I have grown up enough to wear all the floral and lacy lingerie… Something I had helped friends shop... only when they were getting married… something that I own today... even though I am single... Something that I had never even seen my mom use… something I had never thought I would burn so much money on ... for something that doesn’t matter to anyone else but me...

Yes I have grown up enough …to take decisions about picking up a job… To take decision about not selecting something even if it pays me double my current... to take decisions to leave home and move on to a city unknown for better prospects… To take decisions about a career I had never even thought I would have... a career my parents too never believed could exist…

Yes I have grown up enough to dream about the day I would get married… To believe that I am decent enough with my decision making skills to figure out that I can select a guy for my self… big enough to just pick up a flight and go down and meet a friend in Bangalore.. Big enough to fund my own trips to Chandigarh, Colaba and even to Lakme… Big enough to tell my brother to shut up … just because I am elder to him... Big enough to tease him... assuming he might have a girl friend... Big enough to go out for coffee with guyfriends… Big enough to carry a map of my current city, lest I get lost again…

Yes.. I am a Big Big Girl... in a Big Big world... and its not a Big Big thing if everyone leaves me...

A lesson that life has made me learn … a lesson that is still very difficult to take in... a lesson that at times i don even want to accept that I have learnt … But I guess now I am BIG enough to understand and accept and manipulate all of it ..